Touched out is a feeling many moms feel, but it can come with guilt and anxiety. Keep reading to learn what it means to be touched out as a mom and ways to overcome this feeling.
As someone who isn’t a huge fan of physical touch, becoming a mom was a bit, well, complicated for me.
I love cuddling my kids. Let me say that now and say it loud.
But the constant touching, especially when you are breastfeeding a baby and have cuddly kids? It’s touch.
What does it mean to be “Touched Out”?
Feeling touched out can be different for every person
Generally speaking, it’s a feeling of mom overmwhelm (or me, it’s similar to anxiety or claustrphobia) when you’ve been experiencing excessive amount of physical contact and a lack of personal space.
Why moms feel touched out
This constant contact is obviously often unavoidable when you have young kids. Kids crave and need touch and engagement with their parents and caregivers and tend to show affection through touch and contact.
But for a parent doing the majority of the in-person caregiving (typically mothers) from 6 am to 8 pm, it can be overwhelming. In fact, a study in 2018 found that parents on average get 32 minutes of alone time each day.
So the problem starts to morph into a new contrived version of mom guilt. Being touched after an extended time is amotionally exhausting, but you feel guilt because it’s what your kids want and need.
How to solve the problem
Just because we’re mothers does not mean we need to sacrific mental and emotional health at all times. When we’re feeling touched out it’s genreally a symptom of a larger issue of parenting burnout and overwhelm. Here are some ways to overcome.
TALK TALK TALK
Talk to your partner. If you’re a SAHM and your partner is at work most of hte day, let them know you need some alone time to decompress.
This not only benefits you and your children, but also your partner. Chances are if you’re touched out by your children, you don’t crave touch from your partner either.
Talk with your kids
If your children are old enough, talk to thme about boundaries, personal space, and consent.
This doesn’t have to be telling them never to hug you, buddle you, etc. But to be able to tell them that you need some personal space for a bit. Not only will it help you, but it can help to teach kiddos about personal space.
Create safe spaces
This is especially imporant for babies. My oldest had terrible colic and he wanted to be held ALL THE TIME. Some times I just needed to create a safe place for him to hang out alone.
A pack and play wiht toys for them to play with, a bouncer, or a Jumperoo are great options to buy some no touch time.
Take a break
If all else fails and you’re at the end of your rope, put the kids somewhere safe and go in another room for 10 minutes or so. They will be fine.
If you’re touched out and it’s effecting your mental health, it is imperative to solve or ease the problem. It will make your whole parenting life healthier and ease so much stress.