I love to compare things. Everything and anything. If you were to look into my blogging binder (a diy coming!) you’d see an almost embarrassing amount of stats written out, dates, weeks, months, times all compared. (Google Analytics, I love you.) I love TimeHop on Facebook and seeing what I was doing on that day years ago (except, not really because #embarrasing.) So it’s not surprise to me that with every step of this pregnancy I’ve been comparing it to how my pregnancy was with Ryan. For the most part, the biggest difference is size: this belly has gotten much bigger much faster this time around. (Check out this post to see how big I was at 31 weeks this time and last time – it’s shocking.) With 6ish or less weeks to go, I’ve been comparing these pregnancies even more (truth be told, in an effort to decide if this labor will be as quick and crazy as last time.) and I thought that today I’d share the main differences I’ve been able to notice in my second pregnancy. Since it’s Thursday, I’ll be linking it on up with the lovely Amanda for Thinking Out Loud Thursday!
Differences Between My First and Second Pregnancy
- The Fear. With my first pregnancy, I was scared about labor. It seems so unbelievably terrifying, especially when the most ‘major’ surgery you’ve ever had was your wisdom teeth being extracted. I was scared about becoming a mom, because I’d never even really held a baby. I was scared that I would get overwhelmed, scared that I would hurt him, scared he would hate me.This time a round, I’m scared of different things. I’m scared that Ryan will react badly, or that he’ll feel like we’ve forgotten about him. That I won’t be able to handle two babies, that I won’t be able to magically grow another part of my heart like I’ve read so many places will happen. The fear this time around is different, but it’s still there.
- Less Noticing. The other day at 29 weeks I looked into the mirror and said, “Oh, that line thing is back.” With this pregnancy, there is so much less noticing and anticipating. I remember carefully squinting at my reflection each morning to see is the Linea Negra has appeared, to check the status of my belly button and stretch marks. I think this time around, although I’m loving being pregnant, nothing is really new anymore, so I’m not taking the time to notice and anticipate the quirks of being pregnant.
- Less Weight Gain. I remember my mom telling me how she gained an unGodly amount of weight with me (her first) and barely any with my brother (her second). She credited it to not having the time to eat as much, because she was too busy chasing me around. (my brother and I are only 14 months apart. 14!!!) I always thought that was kind of bull, but on account that I gained 65 pounds (at least) with Ryan, and I’m on track to stay in that magical 25-35 pound window with this babe, I can attest that it’s true. I’m either too busy to eat because Ryan is a psychopath, or I’m delaying eating because I don’t want to share with him. (mom of the year, here you guys. Mom of the year.) Between that and barely gaining anything the first trimester due to such crazy nausea (with Ryan I was only nauseous when I was hungry, so I just ate. A lot.) it’s looking like I’ll be gaining less this time around.source.
- Less research. I distinctly remember sitting for hours on The Bump where there are what they call Bump Month Boards. I would read posts and responses that new and experiences moms were asking and answering, I read hundreds of birth stories and looked at an infinite amount of registry and must-have lists. I Googled EVERYTHING. I mean, everything. It drove Alex crazy, because I would text him and tell him that I was clearly suffering from XYZ, when it was really gas or something silly. This time around, I’m pretty shocked by how little I’ve researched. In one sense, I feel like I’ve been here before and can rule things out easier. I know now to go with my gut and trust my instincts.
- Different stress. With Ryan, I was stressed about creating a nursery. (stupid, since I still haven’t decorated his room…) I was stressed about working and maternity leave. I was stressed because we were in the process of looking for a house to buy and living with my MIL. This time I’m mostly just worried about Ryan. If I let myself think any further than the first week, I stress about being home alone with two under two. YEs, I worry about other things – like how long will this baby be in our room and how will Ryan handle sharing a room – but the main difference is this time around I’m more confident in my own abilities as a mom and the fact that it will somehow all work out.
It’s so interesting to me how two experiences, that, on a purely fact based/scientific level are the same, can be so completely different. Yes, both pregnancies have been mostly enjoyable, both were super, crazy, unbelievably active boys (both times I haven’t done kick counts because they move THAT often.), both have had crazy Braxton Hicks, both are (seemingly) tiny babies, but on another level they’ve just been so, so different. I wouldn’t have it any other way, either!
So tell me – if you’ve had more than one babe, how did your pregnancies differ? If not, what was the most memorable part of your first pregnancy? (besides labor, obvi..) If you’ve never been pregnant, let me know – are you one of those people that Googles everything, or do you go with the flow? Leave it in the comments, friends!
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Susie @ SuzLyfe says
I think your differences in what you are noticing and what you are focusing on are totally on point. You have learned what are actually “big deals” and what you don’t need to fear. And I should hope you did more research the first time around!
Amanda @ .running with spoons. says
I’ve never been pregnant, but I’m trying to decide if I’d be the type of person that Googles everything or takes the ignorance is bliss approach. On the one hand I feel like the things I’d read about labour and what not would scare the hell out of me, but on the other hand I think I’d like to know what I’m getting myself into. I guess time will tell!
Julia @ Lord Still Loves Me says
Amanda, I feel the same! I’d like to think that I’d go with the flow, but at the end of the day though, I know I’d want to know EVERYTHING!
I enjoy reading your journey with no2 🙂 Our boys are around the same age and I have friends in similar situations as you. I am not sure I could handle being pregnant again at this time… My stress with no2 would be, “where will they go??” With little man’s room being relatively small, we would then need to change the guest room into another bedroom and adjust the bonus room into a guest bedroom… I will start to think about this fun in the next couple years 🙂
It seems like you are really just rolling with the flow with the second pregnancy. It’s always a bit scary when you go through something for a first time. It definitely takes trust. I think you are going to be a really chill mama Morgan. 🙂
I haven’t had any children but it definitely sounds interesting to compare. I’m the same way and love looking back at Timehop and seeing different aspects and areas of my life.
BAHAHAHAHA!! The ‘delaying not eating because you don’t want to share’ yes yes YES!! Sometimes I get Matilda distracted with a movie so I can have a snack ?
alexandra @ my urban family says
I love reading about your comparisons – and it would be interesting to see if Alex has noticed any (or different) changes this time around as well!
It was so much fun reading through your experiences with your first and second pregnancies! I’m about to give birth to my first baby, and I could totally relate to most of the things you experienced with your first. With this one, I’ve been so nervous about everything. Google can be helpful at times but really, really scary too! I’m excited to see how things will change with our next little one!
Catherine @ foodiecology says
I’ve only been pregnant once, but since I’m thinking about having another baby (one day!) this crosses my mind. My first pregnancy was the stereotypical PERFECT pregnancy, so I worry that I will feel like death during #2. I anticipate I will google and worry less – and probably gain less weight – but who knows? It’s interesting to think about, and I love your attitude on #2.
I feel ya….don’t google anything! I told my doctor I googled something (I know how silly it is) and she laughed. Then she asked me what it said…. 😉
Lauren @ i had a big lunch says
Interesting! I’m definitely going to be the person googling EVERYTHING and stressing myself out. I think all first time moms make that mistake, but it’s one we all have to make to learn. It is interesting that less weight gain is common…I plan on milking that gravy train no matter which baby I’m on 😉
I had three pregnancies and they pretty much were all very similar. Except the last one, my daughter was born with spina bifida and when I look back, I didn’t feel her kicks as much as the other two. But, overall, they were all very much alike. Same amount of weight gain, carried low with all of them and the third I had a c-section where the other two vaginal deliveries. I loved being pregnant. Easy to compare them all though isn’t it.
Julie S. says
I’ve only had the one so far, but I was surprised how fast my hair grew and how crazy my curls got. I had to get treatments to calm it down and dye the greys (you know, when I still had the time and extra money for silly stuff like that).
Yes, less noticing of everything!
Thanks so much for linking up at the Bloggers Spotlight party! I pinned this to our group board. Don’t forget to come link up again on Thursday and see the featured posts!