I originally wrote this post a little over a year ago (July 14th, to be exact) but with last weekend’s events I thought it would be a good time to dust it off and have a chat. I’ve added some extra commentary and advice – I hope it might help anyone who is struggling with the horror of recent events/the world lately.
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We live in a scary world. It’s getting scarier by the minute. Every single day I log on social media and just see sadness – murder and hate and terror and ignorance and just horrible, horrible, horrible things. It’s enough to incite fear into even the strongest person. And that, I am not.
I’ve mentioned before that I don’t comment on horrible events like the ones we’ve seen in the past few months because it requires me to put time and energy into it which, for me, is just so draining emotionally. The truth is, I stay as far away from them as possible. I read one or two headlines, find out whatever I need to know to not be ignorant on the topic, and step away. I have a habit of getting lost in horror stories, and then I find myself in a place of anxiety, sadness, and fear. Everywhere I go, I see the possibility for terror. Especially now that I have the boys, I simply can’t let that happen.
And to be honest, that is where most of my fears are based these days: what kind of world am I bringing these boys into? I can raise them to be kind and caring, respecting and just, compassionate and honest, but I can’t guarantee that the world I will be letting them go into will be the same. I can’t guarantee that something horrific won’t happen to my children and that is what scares me the most. (Side note: I think everyone should read this piece I saw on Scary Mommy, commenting on a group of people shielding a baby stroller during the gunfire in Dallas. It says everything I feel, but this line is what gave me chills “If we can’t look at adults and see their worth and absolute right to life, how about we turn our attention on children. We need to make the world better. We need to do better.”)
I’m not here to get deep and dark today, because if I do my stomach will be in knots all day just from writing it. Instead, today I thought I would share some of my own tips for what to do when the sad world gets to you. I truly hope that this will help anyone who feels the way I do when presented with all of this sad information turn their outlook around.
What to do When the Sad World Gets to You
1. Get. Off. Facebook.
I wish I could tell you how many times I’ve been on Facebook, started just by reading one person’s post and then went into a depressing spiral in no time flat. Next thing I know, I’m sick to my stomach, lightheaded from all of the information I really didn’t need to know. Half of the time I catch myself and literally say out loud “What am I doing?! Stop it, Morgan.” People feel safe on Facebook and post all sorts of opinions, ignorant and arrogant, rude and hurtful. In times of stress and uncertainty, arguments start and people are virtually high-fiving other for seriously horrible statements that will make you lose hope in the world. So get off it. At least until the dust of whatever tragedy is occurring settles. And if you do have to go on Facebook, please, please, please do not peek at the trending topics and scroll right on past people you know love stirring drama.
2. Turn off the news.
Get the basics that you need to feel informed and turn it off. Maybe check in once a day. All that you will see in the time in between is just horrible rehashings and speculation. You do not need that. So just get what you need and go. YES, the experiences of the people who will inevitably be interviewed are valid and important, but your sanity and mental health are more important in this moment.
3. Write a list of the good things.
There are so, so many good things in your life. If there were none, you wouldn’t feel so sick about the horrible things in this world. What are those great things? Write them down in your prettiest handwriting, and slap that list somewhere you will see it every day, multiple times a day. Take a picture of it and make it your phone background. Put it on your bathroom mirror or your steering wheel (obvi don’t read it while driving, people!!) – I don’t care where you put it, just remember that there is so much good in the world still. Top of my list? My beautiful boys, my amazing husband, my loving family, this space, and coffee. What puts a smile on your face?
4. Work it out.
A hard, mind numbing workout can sometimes totally wipe it all out for the time being. Pick your favorite workout, find the most intense version, and sweat out all of the sadness until you forget about it.
5. Look at history.
Be forewarned – this can be a callous way of looking at things, but sometimes a different perspective is necessary. The other day I went to my dad’s for his birthday and my 90-year-old grandmother was there. We were talking about the world and I turned to her and said, “Was it like this when you were my age? Were you terrified of the world?” The answer was yes. It was just a different thing to be afraid of. For my Grandmother, it was WWII and all of the terror that accompanied that. For my dad, he remembers huddling under desks in panic during air raid drills and the threat of nuclear war. There has always been and will always be a threat to happiness and joy and life and all that is good. But have comfort in knowing that the good lives on to the next generation.
6. Get outside.
The beauty of summer is the ability to turn your phone off and go outside. When I feel that terrible feeling of constant fear creeping up, I try to get off my phone and head outside to play. Fresh air and watching little boys run around happily because they know nothing about the craziness of the world we live in wins every time. Try to go out and enjoy nature and the world and find innocence.
7. Talk to someone.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you that if you truly feel like the sadness of the world is getting to you daily to a point where it’s affecting your life, please look into talking to a professional. That is why there are here. They will help you come up with ways to manage your emotions as well as give you a sounding board for your thoughts. At the very least, make sure you are talking to someone – be it your husband, your parents, your best friend, someone in your church – just someone.
So tell me – do sad and scary events affect you? How do you manage those emotions? Let me know in the comments!
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heather @Lunging Through Life says
I also stay away from many news articles and stories. I find out what happened and move on. I forget what it was but I was just asking Aaron about something that happened years ago because I never knew the full story. It’s hard to see it all unfold and know you can really do so little. I don’t understand what is going on with our world and how out of control it is getting. It’s beyond sad to see. All we can do is our best with raising our children.
Morgan says
It’s definitely scary. I’m the same way – I’ll be like, what was that thing that happened XYZ even about? While I commend the people who can get all involved and informed with every situation, in order to maintain sanity it’s just not something I can do.
Emily says
Getting my mind out of the internet is such a good thing, and I love how your tips included just getting off of focusing on all the bad things going on; reading history is actually a good thing too, because it helps me focus on the fact that these things don’t last forever. Doing a good workout and listening to a podcast is one of my favorite things too.
Morgan says
I think it can be hard to realize that sadly, horrible things like this DO happen and HAVE happened – something the step bac gives you just enough of a different perspective to see that.
Leah says
It’s comforting to know other people feel the same way I do. Having gratitude for the people and special moments in my life really helps to take the focus off of all the heartbreak in the world. Visiting from the Shine Blog Hop!
Morgan says
Agreed! The very cliche act of simply counting your blessings can really help.
AmberLynn says
I think we give too much power to those who cause harm by posting their faces all over the media. I say, cover a story and move on. Don’t publicize constantly the wrongs in the world. Our local radio station now has a daily “Good News” segment in the morning. It’s important, but it also highlights how negative our society has become that we have to force feed the good. I’d rather not know about the bad out there….sometimes ignorance is bliss (look at our children for just that!).
Morgan says
I COMPLETELY agree. In many ways, I think we’re giving them too much power by harping on it for days – and isn’t that what these horrible people would like? I love the idea of a Good News segment – Every news outlet should have that!
Heather @ Polyglot Jot says
Yes, I sometimes let these things get to me and get so anxious. I try to avoid the news when i get like this or focus on good news stories.
Morgan says
It’s hard! I think for me, avoiding it all is just the number one way to endure
Jessie @ The Acquired Sass says
Honestly, I usually don’t comment on BS like this either. I hit publish on a scary post today that was the exception to my rule. But generally, I get some info, form an opinion, & then do my best to forget about it & not engage, because it does nothing to fix the issue.
If someone presented me with a real way to make real change I would jump in head first.
But, otherwise, I hide ignorant people from my FB news feed, don’t watch the news & head outside, for a run or a hike or a margarita.
I think it’s so important to remember what you said, look at history, people are always afraid, just of different things.
Morgan says
I think you make a really great point – chatting about it and arguing over it does not fix it. I think that’s a big issue with a lot of the people talking about issues right now. I don’t feel like anyone is giving finite ways to improve, just complaining and stirring up terror and fear.
Also, margaritas cure everything, amirite?
Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday says
I get so sucked into these huge, horrifying events IF I let myself. So, I don’t. Do I feel bad when people want to talk and I just don’t? Yes. Abso-freaking-lutely. However, I’m not ignorant. I just know that I can’t surround myself with all that awfulness. I learn, I hurt, and then I go about my day being as loving and nice and happy as I can. It’s all hard and scary, and I sometimes feel guilty for not focusing on those types of events enough. That said, it’s going to make me a less lovely person, and that’s not what the world needs.
Morgan says
PREACH, girl. I think sometimes it’s made to seem like if you’re not totally immersed and up to date on these events, knowing ever horrible detail, you’re less in some way. But like you said, if by doing that, I become a paranoid, angry mess, I’m not going to do it.
Meg @ The Many Little Joys says
I agree, the world is a scary place, but you’re right that there have always been scary things. I love the quote from Mister Rogers that says, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”
Looking for the good in the world makes all the difference in my perspective.
Morgan says
Yes! I love that quote – i try to remind myself of the same thing all the time.
Lisa @ Running Out Of Wine says
These are some great suggestions and I especially liked reading the one about history. I have read a few stories about that lately and it does put things in perspective a bit. I have definitely been feeling awful about everything that is going on and it helps to avoid Facebook and focus on the positive things in life.
Dara says
Stay off facebook is the best advice! Being more specific, DO NOT READ THE COMMENTS on any new article. I have to remind myself to look away. It is scary how much vileness and hate is spewed in the comment section.
Morgan says
Oh my God, YES. Seriously, the most disgusting people are lurking in those comment sections. It’s horrible.
Emily says
It is hard to not be overcome by all of the craziness especially when it is thrown in our faces thanks to technology. I agree with all of your points. When bad things happen, I put a focus on doing as much good as I can where I am. I can’t change something that is miles away, but I can love my family, help a neighbor, and show kindness to the people I see each day. As a Christian, I give my fears to God and remember that He is bigger than any tragedy here on earth.
Morgan says
When I was talking to ym dad about his own fears about the world when he was younger he agreed that it’s harder to ignore and avoid these days because of social media. It’s just everywhere. I love your way of looking at it as you can help someone close by – because just showing that there are good people, even if it’s not related to whatever tragedy, is still so good for the world.
Janet Vinyard says
I like your suggestions but perhaps I could add one – now is the time to rely on your faith in God & Jesus Christ. We can’t put our faith into any man, woman or political party. Even when we think the world is out of control, God is in control and working behind the scenes to accomplish His will. 2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.” Blessings, Janet
Kristy from Southern In Law says
I was actually just talking about this with my Mum so these tips are perfect. I am so with you on getting off Facebook and turning off the news. I know some people think it’s “avoiding” the issue, however, when the media is going on and on and on and on about something (and often dramatising it/reading way too much into it/using scare tactics to hold your attention), it really can get you in a funk.
Morgan says
Exactly! That’s why I get the basics and get off. My sanity is worth more. After the shooting in Florida, Alex was watching and they were having someone who was there and witnessed/helped his friend get shot. And they made him go into moment by moment detail AND THEN zoomed into his pants and said something along the lines of, “and as you can see, he’s covered in his blood.” Why is that necessary? It’s just not.
Dottie (@crazyfitmommy) says
This is so true for me too! I have a lot of people on my Facebook that post about politics and current events, and it can be so hard to step back and ignore all the fighting and negativity. My husband actually commented this morning about how easily I get drawn into the gloom and doom 🙁 I really need to work on putting down Facebook and just playing with my toddlers — they can always make me smile. 🙂
Morgan says
Yeah, it’s really hard to not get sucked into the whole facebook thing and stay in the happiness – I agree about toddlers, though! WHenever it’s all really getting to me I love sitting down and playing with mine!
Karen @ Fit in France says
I live in France and unfortunately we had a big dose of scary events the past 18 months. another event just happened less than 12 hours ago, as I write this. I hate that my kids have to grow up in this environment, I am afraid it is the new normal. I don’t want our daily lives to change those because of the bad people in the world. That gives them power that they do not deserve. So I let my teenagers take the subway into Paris and pray that they will be safe.
Michelle says
#5 for sure. I remember Vietnam, I remember the bombings of 911 as most of us do. Times and events are just different and scary times have been around because there is evil in the world. God says we are to not live in fear. All the things you are teaching your boys are right and good and will stand in the end. We can’t control what others do we can only control our response to the events around us. Hang in there and the tips you have offered others are very helpful reminders to just turn it all off and detach for a bit.
Gretchen says
To be honest, this is one of the reasons why I don’t think I want to have kids. The world really is a scary place (in fact there was yet ANOTHER terrorist attack last night). It’s starting to really get to me and yesterday I broke down. It’s a sad, sad world right now, but thank you for sharing your tips.
Morgan says
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND this thinkig, Gretchen. I’m scared enough thinking just about myself and howto function in this world. When I start to think about the kind of world I might be raising my boys in, it’s terrifying and sickening
Edye says
I try and steer clear of the news too! Sometimes I get so sad and emotionally drained by all the sorrow in the world. I pray for peace, give my anxiety to God, and try and do something I enjoy. Such as baking, reading, or talking with a loved one 🙂
Carly says
HI Morgan! I’m the worlds worst blogger in that I don’t make time to read alot of blogs or get involved with other bloggers (summer time goal: be social!) but this post made me do something I have NEVER done before – hunt it down (after seeing it at a link up this week, and not having time to read then) and read every word! I’ve just written a series on living with anxiety and THIS, RIGHT HERE, is a fantastic, living, example of what I try to tell people. I love love love that you can look into history and recognize that the world has always been troubled and good things keep happening anyway. I do that ALL the time. It’s not callous, it’s healthy and smart. I love that you can recognize that by closing your mind to the things going on around you you are not dismissing them as unimportant or trivial, but you are protecting yourself and allowing yourself to be a better mother & person in general. Can I leave a link to your post in one of Anxiety posts? I think many many people can benefit from reading this!!
Morgan says
Carly, this comment literally just made my week! Such sweet and kind words. It’s so comforting to know that others struggle with these issues like I do – and I really appreciate you understand that I’m not trying to ignore other people’s suffering, just trying to get through the day! You one hundred percent can link back to me! I would love that. Have such a wonderful week – you’ve seriously made mine!!
Carly says
🙂 I’m so glad to have made your week!
Anne Hockenberry says
Oh my word! What a great list. I have the same feelings as you – it’s really easy to get caught up in the negative cycle of thinking and all the things we have to be afraid of. But it’s good to remember to shut it off and focus on what’s in front of us that we have to be thankful for. My thankfulnes list is my husband, the beautiful town I love in, good health, interesting hobbies, good friends, and most importantly God’s grace in a sin-filled world.
Elizabeth @ Guilty Chocoholic Mama says
Great, timely post, Morgan: I was just up in the middle of the night last night, trying to comfort my tween who was upset about all the “bad stuff” going on. This world is not our home, and there is hope in it because there is hope beyond it. Thanks for sharing your words and heart…stopping by from Coffee & Conversation.
Wendy says
Morgan, I totally agree that too much electronic information (social media, news, etc) can be overwhelming and fear inducing. I love the “history” perspective; a friend just shared that with me yesterday and it does help to consider that angle. I do think it is important that we know both the basics (minimum headlines) and the backstory; however, too much saturation is just too much — absolutely no need to listen to all the repetition and rhetoric and arguing. Often, however, it is the backstory that gives us perspective and the desire to do something (anything!) to create even just a little positive change. I live in a very diverse neighborhood and because it is in a large metro area, people work/commute long hours and just don’t socialize very much. But on Sunday I sent an invitation to all the ladies on my street, and we are gathering at my home for dessert and coffee this week (I am so encouraged that so many accepted!). Finally, I realized that I can’t begin to establish relationships with and understand the perspective of a woman whose first name I am not even sure of; it was time for ME to do something! We will not solve the problems of the world over chocolate cake and coffee, but we will take one step toward one friendlier, more supportive cul-de-sac in one neighborhood in one of the most diverse areas of the country.
I’ve lost friends and colleagues in terror attacks and currently have people close to me in dangerous places trying to show that love is greater than fear and evil. I can’t ignore what is going on, but I can pray for change, for protection for those I love and those I don’t even know. And I can take your advice and turn off the saturation and then do one positive thing, even if it’s just baking a cake. 🙂
Emily Bresin says
Like you, I try to avoid the news as much as I can. I see a headline or two, and try to know just enough about what’s happening in the world. But it is terrifying. And sad. And I don’t even know how to process it. I think your tips are wonderful. Thank you for sharing.
Leslie says
Great advice! I have also been saddened by our scary world recently. It also helps me to pray, pray, pray for Christians to stand strong for God in the midst of a broken world. We know from the Bible that lawlessness and violence will increase, but Christians can bring God’s hope and light into the midst of hopelessness. What a privilege! We would love for you to share this post with our readers at the Literacy Musing Mondays Linkup http://www.foreverjoyful.net/?p=1189
Erlene Amat says
Yes, I hate seeing all the bad news lately and I totally tune out when it gets too much. My hubby does the total opposite and reads and watches everything.