“Is it okay if I…”
“Is it normal to…”
“Why is my baby…”
This is how about 2/3 of my Google searches start. You moms know what I mean. “Is it okay if my kid only eats apples for 3 days straight?” “Is it normal if my son never takes a bottle?” “Why is my baby spitting his chewed food out?” (these are all things I have Googled since Ryan was born..) It’s easy to wonder if something is normal when you’re a mom. I find myself doing this ALL the time, especially as a first time mom with no baby experience. Am I normal? Am I doing an okay job? Am I the worst mom in the world? Probably not. Chances are, the things that I’m wondering about if they are normal or common are probably done by a few other moms, whether we admit it or not.
So here are a few “mom confessions” of mine that I’m a little embarrassed to even admit. If this helps just one mom reduce her mom guilt or feel a little less crazy, though, it’s totally worth it. On the other hand, if you all think I’m totally insane, then at least you all got a good laugh.
Sometimes I don’t want anyone to hold my baby. This was very true when he was a newborn. Did anyone else have this happen?: People come over to see the baby and I spent the first 30-45 minutes nursing/rocking/burping/changing him to make him happy. The second he’s happy and I can enjoy him, “Let me hooooolldd him!” 20 minutes later he poops, pees, cries and/or spits up and he’s handed back. Rinse and repeat. But now, sometimes I just don’t want someone to hold my baby. Not even a stranger, but a friend or even family. Sometimes it’s not even that I want to hold him, I’d rather him sit on the floor and play, but because I don’t want other people to hold him, I will.
Sometimes I let my son sit in a dirty diaper. In my defense, sometimes I don’t even know it’s dirty. Ryan is rarely bothered by a dirty diaper, and hasn’t gotten diaper rash since he was teeny tiny, so sometimes I let him sit in it. Especially now that changing him is basically a three ring circus.
Sometimes I worry less about nutrients and more about getting it down the hatch. Somedays Ryan barely wants to eat, so I just give him his favorites. Thankfully, he’s a REALLY good eater and loves healthy food, (I thank baby led weaning!!) so his favorites consist of most fruit, chicken and olives. But some days he’ll only eat apples. Hell, today he ate half a bag of freeze dried apple slices and nothing else. Hey, at least he’s eating, right?
I still nurse and rock my son to sleep. I feel like this one is SUPER controversial, but I still rock and nurse Ryan to sleep for bed AND naps. People always tell me I need to stop but we’re on our own time. No, I haven’t slept a whole night since he was born. But to be honest, I know I’ll miss it one of these days, so I’m okay with it.
Unless it looks or sounds dire, I really have lost all cares about my son falling/bumping his head. A lot of the time, Ryan falls and then looks at me for my reaction. If I look concerned, he cries. If not, he keeps playing. People come over and see him fall and me barely even turning and freak out, but whatevs. Half the time I start clapping to help him not freak out.
Sometimes I don’t change my son’s clothes until it’s time for clean jammies at night. I change him into PJ’s each night as a part of his bedtime routine, but sometimes if it’s gross out and I know we’re not going out…
When I hear my son wake up in the morning, sometimes I cover my head with a pillow for a few minutes and let him fuss. As stated above, I haven’t had a full nights sleep in over a year. I’m pretty used to it by now, but sometimes, especially after a rough night, mornings are rough and I try to pretend he hasn’t woken up yet.
I kind of think it’s funny when my son tackles the cat. The first time, I definitely got freaked out because she legitimately hunts me on the regular, so I wasn’t sure how she’d react, but she is really really good with him. She just plays dead, essentially, and I have to say, looking over to see him basically hugging his ‘sister’, I kind of laugh. And then gently pry him off.
I’m not as worried about germs as I (probably) should be. The five second rule is the name of the game here. Also, wiping something off on my pants. Or shirt. Or mouth. Granted, if a toy falls on a questionable floor, I don’t give it back, but I’m definitely more lax with germs and dirt than other parents. But, hey, he’s only gotten sick once, so maybe it’s helping?
I made my son cry once by raising my voice at him in frustration. One time, and I felt TERRIBLE. But still. I don’t even remember what he was doing but I remember having said no and physically moved him a few times and then he did it when I wasn’t looking. It was one of those days where I was doing a million and seven things, and it was the tipping point. I definitely am trying to raise him in a no yelling house but everyone has their moments.
I hoard certain facts and pictures from my mom and MIL because I want some things about him to be special and just mine. Is that weird? I don’t know. I have a few pictures and memories that I love more than anything in the world and they are so special to me I don’t want them to be anyone else’s. Selfish? Probably. Sorry? Nope.
I put off comforting my son to take pictures of him crying. Pretty self explanatory, but man I just find his angry/sad face too damn cute and hilarious. #butfirstletmetakeapicture
Man, I could probably go on ALL DAY. I’ll probably do this again once I get over the embarrassment of admitting all of this, but until then, it’s your turn: What is a confession of yours, mom related or otherwise? Let me know in the comments!
I’m linking up with Amanda from Running with Spoons for Thinking Out Loud!
Tiff says
Ummm, yes, yes, and yes! Haha. Preach it mama! Goodness knows I’ve had some crazy baby related search terms. I admit that I sometimes wish the Internet wasn’t around so I wouldn’t be tempted to look for crap… let’s face it, a lot of it’s crap. 🙂
Morgan says
Hah I’ve actually talked to my mom about that a few times. I definitely wish I didn’t have Google sometimes- when I was pregnant it stressed me out SO much. Our parents were lucky not to have it sometimes!!
Amanda @ .running with spoons. says
I actually think that not being so worried about germs is a good thing because it forces the immune system to actually do it’s job and it gets stronger as a result. There’s a lot of info out there about how kids raised out in the country have better immune systems than those in the city, and they say it’s because of all the extra dirt and what not that they get into. Also, I don’t think there’s any one right way to be a parent, so I don’t think you need to worry 🙂
Morgan says
That’s how I feel too so I try to just go with it, but man, you should see the looks some parents give me!
Amy @ Elephant Eats says
Hehehe, I can SO relate to most of these! EXCEPT the rocking to sleep. Before sleep training Berkeley, we used to have to rock him before all naps (for some reason he was fine at bedtime), and I’m SO thankful that that’s over. It only took 1 night of crying WITH checks (an hour at bedtime and an hour during the night) and that was that. Also, don’t feel bad about Ryan fussing in the morning before you get him. Berkeley wakes between 5-6am and the sleep consultant told us not to get him until 6am since we shouldn’t encourage him to wake up earlier. It hasn’t fixed his wakeup time, but he just walks around his crib, talks to himself or sometimes cries, but he’s fine when we get him at 6! Babies don’t need you to get them the SECOND they make a peep…this was something I struggled with. They need to learn to self-soothe a bit or you’re doing them a disservice later in life.
You dont’ even want to know what I’ve googled about babies! And Berk is the same with dirty diapers…I only notice when it smells. And changing him is a nightmare. I could comment on every one of these points but then my comment would be as long as your post…anyway, love this! 🙂
Morgan says
My husband could use a reality check with the whole don’t need attention 24/7 thing – he’s a MILLION times worse than me which is hilarious. We did cry it out a bit for about 2 weeks ago and he goes down for bed easy now, THANK YOU JESUS, but naps are still a hassle and he is still waking up to nurse at least twice a night.
I’m glad I’m not in this boat of confessions alone!!
Heather@hungryforbalance says
I love the honesty here!!! I could have written this myself! Yes TO ALL OF THIS!!!
Morgan says
I’m so glad! Good to know that other moms go through the same things!!
Anastasia says
Great post! The one that really got me was the not jumping up when they fall/bump their head. After my daughter first started walking, anytime she’d fall, I’d jump up and run over all freaked out asking if she was okay and start rocking her haha
I probably looked crazy. Now, she’ll fall and I’m like “Oh, she’s good.” haha After a couple of years of falls you get to where you just know if they’re okay or not.
Morgan says
hhaha it’s actually something I saw when I was pregnant – a friend of my dad’s has 3 small kids and one fell HARD in front of me and the father told me not to say anything and even though she scraped her knee, since no one made a big deal she was FINE.
Katie @ Beyond the Clothing says
Sounds like you’re raising self-sufficient boys! I really think most parents have done AT LEAST a few of these, whether or not they admit it. Thank you for sharing, I’m sure lots of mommas need to know they’re not alone.
xoxo
Katie
Morgan says
Thanks so much, it means a lot!
Brittany (Healthy Slice of Life) says
These are fantastic- what a cute post! I still nurse and rock Kaitlyn (13 months) to sleep too. I didn’t with Hailey because I didnt want to create bad habits and with my second (last) baby, I’m just like SCREW IT 😉 You go mama!
Morgan says
Thanks so much! Yeah, I went into it thinking I wouldn’t because of habits, but then he had pretty bad colic and THAT went out the window – the name of the mom game is do what it takes, I feel!
Chellie says
You’re a good mommy! The one about not freaking out if they fall/bump their head. Totally can relate! I was at a friends once and my toddler was heading for a bi-fold door. My friend leaped over the couch, afraid my son would pinch his fingers. My response? Well, if he does pinch them, that will be the last time. Thanks for joining the party at From the Archives Friday!