Mom overwhelm is common in all stages of motherhood. Whether you’re at your tipping point or just feel the stress of being a mom building, we’re sharing tips to help you manage and overcome.
These days it’s easy to feel like all of the stress. There is so much going on from health to politics to everyday drama. Many of us are finding ourselves wearing more hats than ever and truthfully, it’s a bit much.
As moms, we can tend to become martyrs to our day to day life. Sacrificing so much to make those we love happy.
(Do I have any enneagram fans here? I’m a 2, so this is a constant battle for me!)
The reality is, whether you’re new to feeling mom overwhelm or you’re a naturally anxious person so it’s old hat, you need to find ways to deal and overcome.
What is mom overwhelm?
It’s that feeling you get when everywhere you look there’s a fire to put out but you only have a watering can.
Kids need something, Your house is a mess. Dinner isn’t even started, breakfast dishes are undone. Your boss is expecting that report yesterday.
How do we deal with being overwhelmed as moms?
As moms we have so many people to serve, and out own mental health takes a back burner. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Today I’m sharing some simple tips for overcoming and managing.
First off, pause and breath.
It might sound all woo-woo, but take a break, breath in deep, and let it go. Do it again. And once more. You’ll start to feel a little better immediately.
You’ll also be in a better mindset to start working on the source of the overwhelm and move forward to solving it.
Talk it out.
Next, I want you to talk to someone about it. Drop that feeling that you need to “do it all” and talk to your partner or support system about how you’re feeling.
Not only is this just a freeing process, but it clues your other half in on what is going on, making it easier to help.
Chnaces are they have no idea this is going on and will be eager to find a way to help.
Find an escape.
Even if it’s just for a few minutes a day, do something that makes you happy and only you happy.
I’m talking 100% selfish, no use to anyone but you.
This does NOT include completing a task on your to-do list or doing a necessary human task and calling it “self care“. My friend Melanie from Mostly Under Control talks super openly and honestly about how we need to change our mindset on this as moms!
For me, I read trashy romance novels. Totally mind-numbing, totally useless romance novels. To make it even better, I tend to skip over the inevitable break up before they get back together because I can’t be bothered by anything too deep.
It might be stupid and a ‘waste of time’ but it helps me relax and gets my mind off of the million and 7 things I have to worry about.
Ideas for what to try out as your “escape”:
- Reading a book.
- Taking a solo walk,
- Wandering around Target with a coffee.
- A fun hobby like crocheting or diamond painting.
- Watching trash TV.
I do not recommend scrolling social media since it can often feel like a time such and we often find ourselves comparing and experiencing FOMO.
Turn off the news.
Next, let’s talk about a source of stress – the news and social media.
TURN. IT. OFF.
Yes, being informed is important, but you know what’s even more important? Your mental health and relationships with your kids and family.
Delete the apps, ignore the news for a few days. Not only will you not be bombarded with the news, but you’ll notice an increase in time you have. Social media is a time suck!
Let it go.
No, it’s not just a Frozen song!
Sometimes we harp on things we cannot change and let it consume us.
Learning to let things go, whether it’s something the kids are doing or the promise of a perfectly cleaned house is the best way to overcome mom overwhelm.
Take a look at all of the things you’ve put on your plate. What are the ‘bare minimum’ of what you need to do?
Until you get yourself straight, do just those.
Allocate others to people willing to help.
Think of it this way – when you’re on a tight budget, you have to cut out some items that aren’t vital.
Do that with your time. Do that with your emotional baggage. Do that with people in your life, if you have to. Keep what is vital and put what isn’t to the side until everything has settled.
And to be totally honest, once that happens, be very mindful of what you put back on your plate. Did you miss it? Did its absence cause an issue? If not, leave it be and move on.
Notice I didn’t say, “ask for help.” Because the reality is, most of us have people offering help regularly.
Be it your partner, your best friend, your neighbor, a family member. You are not superwoman. Period. You cannot do all of the things all of the days and keep it together.
The reality is, everyone needs help sometimes. Taking help given to you does not mean you are any less, does not mean you are a failure.
Utilize the help that people are more than willing to give you. You can’t and don’t have to do it all yourself.
Okay, so tell me – what do you do when you’re overwhelmed? What;s your favorite feel good music? Are you good asking for help? Let me know in the comments!
More mom life posts you might love
- Touched Out – What is it and what to do about it?
- The best Mother’s Day Songs Playlist
- What to do When You’re Sick with Kids
- Self Care Tips for Moms
- How to recover a bad morning as a mom
This is SO ME! The beginning was seriously like reading something I could have written about myself. I don’t watch the news EVER. My husband mentioned the whole North Korea business last night and I’m like, “DO NOT TELL ME!” I need to be the last to know if WWIII starts. I cannot even think about the shit world we’re raising our kid in. I don’t even like going in my patient’s rooms at work if they have the news on. Please, keep me ignorant to everything going on in the world because my anxiety cannot handle it. I do try to take some time to myself every day, and if not every day, I do something every week. I feel so much better if I just work out during the day (at the gym, OUT of the house) and yesterday had to skip it to meet up with a friend. Since those were the daycare hours, I felt like a mess by the evening. I can easily skip gym days, but yesterday I think I needed that break from thinking about life and didn’t get it. I like reading too and did that for a book the other week, so I need to find some more books. It helps to get in bed and read, instead of watching TV. We don’t have much help here, but I realize when I just let go of things sometimes, I don’t NEED help. I just need to not convince myself that tons of things need to get done. Lately, I’ve been letting the floors stay messy for 2 days instead of cleaning up every night. I just put socks on and pretend I’m not walking on crumbs. I’m using my post 7pm hours (aka: bedtime for the kid) to just relax and not focus on anything. It’s the end of the semester and I’m finding that I just need to stop worrying about anything but finishing my last two assignments because that’s all my little brain can handle right now.
Susie @ Suzlyfe says
I hope you are feeling better, Morgan. Right now I am not so much overwhelmed as I am just irrationally anxious, and it is getting in the way of my life and my ability to live it. I wonder where it came from–were people always like this or does the way we raise our kids cause it? I can’t imagine a caveman having these types of issues?
I am thinking of adding meditation into my toolset. Usually running does it for me, but I think right now, I need to just turn everything off for a bit.