Sometimes we find ourselves losing patience with kids, no matter how hard we try. Here are 4 tips to keep your cool when losing patience as a mom. Some days it may seem like an impossible task, but by taking simple steps and having a bit of a mindset shift, you’ll be able to control your patience and confidently move on.
I’m going to admit something a little taboo right now.
My kids annoy me.
As mothers, we often feel we’re not supposed to really admit that. Our children are the lights of our life, our everything – right?
But often, I find myself wondering, how could something so precious be so, so irritating? If you’ve ever lived with a toddler for a day, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If not, here’s an insider secret: it’s not all sunshine and daisies when you’re raising children.
As a mom of 3, I’ve had many a moment where I’ve almost lost my cool, and more moments than I’d like to admit when I have lost my patience with kids.
Not my proudest moments, but, as always, I keep it real here and I tend to think that any parent who says they’ve never, ever, ever lost it on their precious little angels it totally full of it.
How to Stop Losing Patience with Kids
While I’m no expert, I’m sharing my best tips for how to keep your cool when it comes to kiddos driving you nuts.
Think of the reason behind the loss of patience.
How did you sleep last night? Have you worked out recently? Is that time of the month coming? When was the last time you had some ‘me’ time?
These questions can really help you pinpoint why you’re feeling on edge. Sometimes the issue isn’t so much your kids, but you. Being extra stressed, tired, and/or worn out, will inevitably contribute to your inability to keep your patience with kids.
Sometimes just pinpointing this fact itself can often help me regain some semblance of patience.
How to solve it:
Brainstorm your normal stress triggers at a time that you’re not already stressed. Then use those to weed out your problems. For me, lack of time to myself, sleep, and hunger are my main triggers for stress.
So in those cases, focusing on getting more sleep, asking for alone time, and planning snacks to avoid getting hangry can help
Drop all non-essentials.
The fact that you are losing patience is not the fault of your children. We all know that.
Chances are you are stressed and overwhelmed and trying to do more than you need to. By dropping all non-essentials in your day, you are able to relax a little more, pay more attention to your kids, and be a better mom all together.
How to solve it:
Make a list of what you NEED to do versus what you FEEL like you need to do. The NEED to do list should look basically like: keep everyone alive and safe. The FEEL like you need to do list will have everything else on it.
Maybe you don’t have to sweep that day. Maybe you can put off that Target trip until tomorrow. Choose an easy dinner that night. Turn off any background noise. Whatever will give you a little more peace and take a little off your plate, do it.
Take a minute to yourself
As human beings, we all need some time to ourselves.
Having kids, especially small kids, can make that hard by default. Someone always needs something. And when they don’t need things, there are messes to clean, food to make, baths to give, etc.
Feeling like you have zero time to yourself can make the constant chatter of you 6 year old sounds like nails on a chalkboard. The suffocating nature of having zero time that is meant for you and you alone can make you lose patience with your kids in an instant.
I know personally, it’s the main culprit.
How to fix it:
FIND time for yourself. MAKE time for yourself. Don’t be afraid to tell someone you need help and you’re not super woman. Sometimes that alone time is most important than an hour of sleep. If you can, take a shower. Take a nap. Go to the store! Use nap time as you time, rather than time to clean/make calls/do laundry/whatever. Whatever time you can give YOURSELF will reflect your mood in such a positive way.
Know that tomorrow is another day
Know that tomorrow is another day
Can we all stop being so hard on ourselves? Let’s face it – being a mom is rough. Being a mom in a world where we’re expected to be completely enamored with our children at every moment of every day? Impossible. Know that bedtime will come. That tomorrow is another day, another chance to start over. You are not alone in feeling this way. Let go of your mom guilt, please.
BONUS TIP for patience with children:
If you find yourself regularly losing patience with your kids, try making note of what was going on each time. Even just in a notepad in your phone. I realized recently that I most often lost it when I felt I “had” to make a complex dinner, so on days I know that it’s just not working, I’ll make something simple like grabbing a taco kit and doing tacos or simple boxed mac and cheese.
So tell me – when was the last time you found yourself losing patience with kids? How do you handle it? Let me know in the comments!