No mom is perfect. Sometimes we begin to find ourselves losing patience with children, no matter how hard we try. Here are 4 tips to keep your cool when losing patience as a mom. Some days it may seem like an impossible task to have patience with kids, but by taking simple steps and having a bit of a mindset shift, you’ll be able to stop losing patience with toddlers, children, and teenagers alike.
I’m going to admit something a little taboo right now. Sometimes, my kids annoy me. As mothers, we’re not supposed to really admit that. Our children are the lights of our life, our everything – right?
But often, I find myself wondering, how could something so precious be so, so annoying? If you’ve ever lived with a toddler for a day, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If not, here’s an insider secret: it’s not all sunshine and daisies when you’re raising children. Some days, you get pretty close to totally losing it. Like, say, when you’ve been asking you 3 year old if he has to go potty for the past 20 minutes and he keeps screaming ‘no,’ only to take his pants off and pee on a wall when you turn your back.
Or when your 4 year old starts learning that he has the ability to annoy his 2 year old brother with just a few words, leading to an hour long argument about puddles.
You know, not that that’s happened recently or anything.
As a mom of 2 boys less than 2 years apart, I’ve had many a moment where I’ve almost lost my cool, and more moments than I’d like to admit when I have lost my patience with kids. Not my proudest moments, but, as always, I keep it real here and I tend to think that any parent who says they’ve never, ever, ever lost it on their precious little angels it totally full of it.
Though, if you’ve made it more than 3 years without completely losing patience with children at least once, I’d LOVE to hear from you because you are very clearly a saint. No joke or sarcasm here – you might be my new hero,
4 Tips for When You’re Losing Patience with Kids
Here you’ll fine my 4 best tips for how to manage when you find yourself losing patience with children. Having patience with kids can be difficult, but it’s not impossible!
Think of the reason behind it.
How did you sleep last night? Have you worked out recently? Is that time of the month coming? (I hate when other people ask me that to try and assess my mood, but the truth is, it does affect things!) When was the last time you had some ‘me’ time.
These questions can really help you pinpoint why you’re feeling on edge. Sometimes the issue isn’t so much your kids, but you – being extra stressed, tired, and/or worn out, will inevitably contribute to your inability to keep your patience with kids. Sometimes just registering this fact itself can often help me regain some semblance of patience.
Try to brainstorm your normal stress triggers at a time that you’re not currently stressed (I know, no one wants to think about being stressed when you aren’t stressed, but just trust me) and then use those to weed out your problems. For me, lack of time to myself, sleep, and hunger are my main triggers for stress.
Drop all non-essentials.
The fact that you are losing patience is not the fault of your children. We all know that. Yes, kids test limits and test their parents, but an adult not at the end of their patience rope can usually see that a kid is honestly just learning and growing because they have fresh, unbiased eyes. It’s the same reason why when [most] parents see a child having a melt down in public, they’re not annoyed – they’re empathetic.
Chances are you are stressed and overwhelmed and trying to do more than you need to. By dropping all non-essentials in your day, you are able to relax a little more, pay more attention to your kids, and be a better mom all together. Maybe you don’t have to sweep that day. Maybe you can put off that Target trip until tomorrow. Choose an easy dinner that night. Turn off any background noise. Whatever will give you a little more peace and take a little off your plate, do it.
Take a minute to yourself.
Oh, momma, I feel you. I literally sneak into the bathroom some days and lock it just so the boys (and our animals!) don’t follow me in. As human beings, we all need some time to ourselves. I try and take an hour or two at night after everyone goes to bed to myself and do something that makes me happy (blogging, TBH).
Sometimes that alone time is most important than an hour of sleep. If you can, take a shower. Take a nap. Go to the store! Use nap time as you time, rather than time to clean/make calls/do laundry/whatever. Whatever time you can give YOURSELF will reflect your mood in such a positive way.
Know that tomorrow is another day
Can we all stop being so hard on ourselves? Let’s face it – being a mom is rough. Being a mom in a world where we’re expected to be completely enamored with our children at every moment of every day? Impossible. Know that bedtime will come. That tomorrow is another day, another chance to start over. You are not alone in feeling this way. Let go of your mom guilt, please.
BONUS TIP for patience with children:
If you find yourself regularly losing patience with your kids, try making note of what was going on each time. Even just in a notepad in your phone. I realized recently that I most often lost it when I felt I “had” to make a complex dinner, so on days I know that it’s just not working, I’ll make something simple like grabbing a taco kit and doing tacos or simple boxed mac and cheese.
So tell me – when was the last time you found yourself losing patience with kids? How do you handle it? Let me know in the comments!
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