No mom is perfect. Sometimes we begin to lose our patience with our children, no matter how hard we try. Here are 4 tips to keep your cool when losing patience as a mom.
I’m going to admit something a little taboo right now. Sometimes, my kids annoy me. As mothers, we’re not supposed to really admit that. Our children are the lights of our life, our everything – right?
But often, I find myself wondering, how could something so precious be so annoying? If you’ve ever lived with a toddler for a day, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If not, here’s an insider secret: it’s not all sunshine and daisies when you’re raising children. Some days, you get pretty close to totally losing it. Like, say, when you’ve been asking you 3 year old if he has to go potty for the past 20 minutes and he keeps screaming ‘no,’ only to take his pants off and pee on a wall when you turn your back. For example.
You know, not that that’s happened recently or anything.
As a mom of 2 boys less than 2 years apart, I’ve had many a moment where I’ve almost lost my cool, and more moments than I’d like to admit when I have lost my cool. Not my proudest moment, but, as always, I keep it real here and I tend to think that any parent who says they’ve never, ever, ever lost it on their precious little angels it totally full of it. Though, if you’ve made it more than 3 years without completely losing patience with your kid(s) at least once, I’d LOVE to hear from you because you are very clearly a saint. No joke or sarcasm here – you might be my new hero,
4 Tips for When You’re Losing Patience as a Mom
Think of the reason behind it.
How did you sleep last night? Have you worked out recently? Is that time of the month coming? (I hate when other people ask me that to try and assess my mood, but the truth is, it does affect things!) When was the last time you had some ‘me’ time? These questions can really help you pinpoint why you’re feeling on edge. Sometimes the issue isn’t so much your kids, but you – being extra stressed, tired, and/or worn out, will inevitably contribute to your inability to keep your patience with your children. Sometimes just registering this fact itself can often help me regain my patience with my kids.
Try to brainstorm your normal stress triggers at a time that you’re not currently stressed (I know, no one wants to think about being stressed when you aren’t stressed, but just trust me) and then use those to weed out your problems. For me, lack of time to myself, sleep, and hunger are my main triggers for stress.
Drop all non-essentials.
The fact that you are losing patience is not the fault of your children. We all know that. Yes, kids test limits and test their parents, but an adult not at the end of their patience rope can usually see that a kid is honestly just learning and growing because they have fresh, unbiased eyes. It’s the same reason why when [most] parents see a child having a melt down in public, they’re not annoyed – they’re empathetic.
Chances are you are stressed and overwhelmed and trying to do more than you need to. By dropping all non-essentials in your day, you are able to relax a little more, pay more attention to your kids, and be a better mom all together. Maybe you don’t have to sweep that day. Maybe you can put off that Target trip until tomorrow. Choose an easy dinner that night. Turn off any background noise. Whatever will give you a little more peace and take a little off your plate, do it.
Take a minute to yourself.
Oh, momma, I feel you. I literally sneak into the bathroom some days just so the boys (and our animals!) don’t follow me in. As human beings, we all need some time to ourselves. I try and take an hour or two at night after everyone goes to bed to myself and do something that makes me happy (blogging, TBH). Sometimes that alone time is most important than an hour of sleep. If you can, take a shower. Take a nap. Go to the store! Use nap time as you time, rather than time to clean/make calls/do laundry/whatever. Whatever time you can give YOURSELF will reflect your mood in such a positive way.
Know that tomorrow is another day
Can we all stop being so hard on ourselves? Let’s face it – being a mom is rough. Being a mom in a world where we’re expected to be completely enamored with our children at every moment of every day? Impossible. Know that bedtime will come. Know that tomorrow is another day, another chance to start over. Know that you are not alone in feeling this way. Let go of your mom guilt, please.
BONUS: Build your confidence in yourself as a parent! Ever since I’ve been consciously working on becoming a more confident parent, I’ve had more patience with the boys and I think they’ve also had more patience with me. I’ve created a free 5-day Building Momfidence challenge to show you how easy it is to work on trusting in yourself as a parent. I would love if you’d join in and start working on yourself! You’ll be amazed by how much your whole family will benefit by simply working on YOURSELF.
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So tell me – when was the last time you found yourself losing patience as a mom? How do you handle it? Let me know in the comments!
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